The Focal Point of חינוך: The מתחנך in עבודת ה’‏

Rabbi Reuven Leuchter

In the realm of חינוך and עבודת ה׳, the central focus should not be on our ideals or pressure-driven motivation but on the individual, the מתחנך, and their journey in עבודת ה׳. This approach aligns with the concept of אמונה, which teaches us that Hashem values the individual’s effort and growth over perfect results. Shifting this focus allows for a more balanced, constructive, and fulfilling חינוך experience.

Pressure in עבודת ה’‏

We feel a lot of pressure when it comes to our עבודת ה’‏. It’s all year but highlighted around Elul. Each year, as Rosh Hashanah approaches, we feel pressure to be perfect, to do תשובה, and to daven well. Where does this feeling of pressure come from? 

First, we view success as binary whereby one is either successful or not. As no one can be successful all the time, this leads to unhappiness and a tremendous sense of pressure. This binary view of success is wrong and counterproductive. Instead, success comes from being fully engaged in עבודת ה’‏, as we will see. 

A second source of pressure comes from the way we motivate ourselves and others. We highlight the חשיבותof an ענין, such as learning תורה, and this creates a tremendous amount of pressure to do whatever it is. If something is so important, we apply so much pressure to force ourselves into it. It would be better to do less “motivating” and instead try to build ourselves and our students, as we will discuss. 

There is a third, deeper, explanation for the pressure we feel. We struggle with the fact that we put so much effort and concern into an עבודת ה’‏ that is completely intangible. What are we working for? We cannot measure it, feel it, or sense it in any way. עבודת ה’‏ is a lofty endeavor, purely רוחני. For example, we may daven well, but we do not get feedback from Hashem or anyone else. I have never felt Hashem pat me on the back and say, “Good job, Leuchter!” Because of this intangibility, we feel disconnected from עבודת ה’‏ inside. 

The feeling of pressure fills this void. We “sense” that עבודת ה’‏ is real because it puts us under pressure. And if, for whatever reason, we do not feel the pressure, we get worried – are we doing what we are supposed to do? If we do not feel pressure to do תשובה before ראש השנה, doesn’t that mean that we do not take ראש השנהseriously? If we do not feel pressure to daven well, we must not take davening seriously. If learning does not stress us out, we become concerned that maybe we don’t think learning is important. So, we crave feeling pressure in our עבודת ה’‏ because that is how we know we are doing something meaningful. This, too, is a mistake. 

All three reasons guide us to create חינוך programs which put the תלמידים under pressure. However, it should not be this way. 

When I think about the way we are מחנך, it reminds me of the incident when an art gallery accidentally mounted a painting by Matisse upside down, but no one realized. For 32 days, over 120,000 people came to look at it, marveling at the art. Finally, someone realized it was hanging upside down! Likewise, much of our חינוך is upside down. 

What is central in חינוך?

We must ask the question: What is central in חינוך? Is it the תורה that is being taught and its ideals, or is it the מתחנך – the student? This recalls the fundamental question about religion – is it anthropocentric or theocentric? If you are a תלמיד of the Chevron yeshiva like me, you know that the person is the main point of our religion. We call this גדלות האדם. 

However, when we educate, we seem to assume the opposite. We search for material that supports the idea that we are educating about something important so that the students should “bend in”. Once they hear our message, they are left with no choice! We tell them that it is for their benefit, it is their עולם הבא, etc. We make the עבודת ה’‏ central, keeping the מתחנך on the periphery, and trying to force him to bend in. 

As an illustration of what it looks like when the עבודת ה’‏ is central, a rebbi will hold up the example of someone like Rav Chaim Kanievsky, learning 16 hours a day – and he knew everything! What is central in that view? The תורה and the role model, Rav Chaim. Then we drag and drop the תלמיד into that view and try to get him to be like Rav Chaim. It is like the painting that is hanging upside down and everyone is walking by and saying how nice it looks. This is upside down חינוך; instead, the מתחנך should be the central focus of חינוך. 

This is the problem with “motivation”. You start with a thing, an ideal or a מצוה, and make it central, but since it may not be so tasty or pleasant and people may not want to devote themselves to it, you coat it with sugar, paint it bright colors, and try to make it more desirable so that the people “bend in”. The pressure is enormous, as though one is trying to fit something into a container that is too small or the wrong shape. Instead, we should start with the person and center him in our view. 

Hashem wants the person in עבודה

What does it mean to make the מתחנך central? Many well-meaning people make a mistake in their application of this idea. They center the student by focusing on the student’s personal life such as his home situation or his financial difficulties as if these are the important things. But with this focus, they’re no longer acting as a מחנך but as a social worker. These are important concerns but should not be the central focus of חינוך.

Instead, the עבודת ה’‏ of the תלמיד should be central. The focus, and all that really matters, is the work the מתחנךdoes to learn the תורה and be successful in serving Hashem. The focus is on what the מתחנך does with the tools and abilities Hashem gave him. In this way, there can be no unhealthy pressure, because, by definition, the עבודת ה’‏ of the תלמיד is a perfect fit for him and his circumstances. 

This perspective begins with the אמונה that the בורא עולם wants this person. It cannot be that He expects this person to do everything perfectly because the person is, as created and placed in the world by Hashem, imperfect. Hashem wants the exact person He created; He wants his עבודת ה’‏.

In this view, עבודת ה’ includes all the steps a person takes towards reaching a goal. This contrasts with a view that only looks at outcomes or results. If we keep this in mind in חינוך, we avoid a lot of the pressure that comes from the binary view of success. As an example, if we define success the way one does when judging a competitive athlete, we simply ask the question – did he win or not? The hard work the athlete puts in does not matter if he fails to achieve his goal. Alternatively, we can adopt the definition of success of a model-ship builder. Every day, he applies a bit of glue, but not too much, and slowly he builds, matchstick by matchstick, each in just the right place. Sometimes he tries something, maybe even for a long time, just to discover that it was not the right way to build the ship, and he needs to start that section again. He works slowly, and every day he builds a little more, but there are no shortcuts. His success is defined by the work he does each day, and not only by the result. 

We can understand the way Hashem looks at our עבודת ה’‏ by imagining a woman who likes to bake. She loves to experiment with flour, sugar, and oil, and try new things – baking is a joy for her! But what if she has an important guest coming? Then the cake must be perfect. There is pressure to get it just right. She is tempted to just give up, to go to the bakery and buy a cake! Then it will be perfect. But is that what the guest wants? No. He was coming to her home to enjoy her baking. 

We make the mistake of looking at results instead of the process all the time. Think about what we do if we want to evaluate people to see how well they can think. We give them a list of problems to solve or questions to answer. With this kind of test, we are not checking for thinking; we are just checking for the ability to give solutions. But that is not thinking. When someone thinks, he does not neatly solve problems and put the problems behind him. He thinks, chews over the issue, finds associations, and then thinks some more. Since thinking is the goal, we cannot measure it just by looking at solutions. 

We should apply the shipbuilder model to our עבודת ה’‏ and יראת שמים. A “successful” ירא שמים will be wearing his work clothes, and his hands will be dirty from glue. The point of עבודת ה’ is to work. A ירא שמים tries one thing and if it doesn’t work well, he tries something else. 

When we adjust our focus to a person’s עבודת ה’‏, we can sense that עבודה is real without a need to create pressure. A person’s development and the steps he takes are most certainly real and tangible. With this frame, we can use meaningful definitions of success that a person can feel and relate to, since the מתחנך is real, and the process, his struggle, and the steps he takes in עבודת ה’‏ are the central goals and the definition of success. 

This is the revelation of ראש השנה and יום כיפור. The בורא עולם wants us. But he does not want us the way a computer engineer wants a silicon chip, which only works if it is always perfect. He wants us engaged in the genuine issues that we confront as we serve Him, but not under paralyzing pressure. Many of us would prefer to “buy” ראש השנה and יום כיפור like one buys a cake at a bakery, but no one sells them! In Yemenite congregations only the שליח ציבור says the מוסף while everyone else listens. This could be the best place to daven! There would be nothing to worry about – we just need to show up and the חזן does a beautiful job! Look what pressure does to us. 

But like a guest who wants to enjoy what the host prepared on her own, even if it is less than perfect, the בורא עולם wants us in our עבודה. He wants our davening. And to accomplish this, we need to center ourselves in our עבודת ה’. Likewise, education should have the תלמיד in the center, in his עבודת ה’‏. 

Connecting to Shabbos

There was a time when I was a young father that I did not feel connected to Shabbos. It got to the point that at the סעודה on Friday night, I would fall asleep. It was an embarrassment! My children remember picking me up from the floor and putting me on the sofa. I tried napping on Friday afternoon so that I would be able to stay awake at the סעודה but that did not help. I would eat plain חריין with the fish to keep myself awake but that did not work, either. After the soup, I just fell asleep. I was under so much pressure, and I really wanted to make the Shabbos סעודה work, but I could not. 

I realized that I needed to take a step back. The pressure was not helping me. Instead, I focused on myself and my עבודת ה’. I asked myself, what is my connection to Shabbos? How did I connect with Shabbos, and why was that not working? 

I realized that my mental picture of Shabbos was family time, sitting around the table as a family. It sounds beautiful and idyllic, but the problem was that family time did not work for me. I loved my children, but the idea of spending time with children and doing childish things with them was not something I connected to easily. I am better with children and grandchildren now, but at that point in my life family time was not high on my list of priorities. 

I realized this was the reason I could not connect to Shabbos and why I was falling asleep at the סעודה. I needed to find another pathway to connect with Shabbos. I began to focus on Shabbos differently. Instead of thinking of it as family time, which was not compatible with who I was, I began to focus on the fact that Shabbos is a day of קדושה. With that perspective, I was able to connect. I was able to stay up for the סעודה. By centering my authentic self in my עבודת ה’‏ I was able to overcome the challenge.

Connecting to learning תורה

I was a משגיח in a yeshiva for seven years. When someone is a משגיח for seven years, he loses his ability to focus on anything for a sustained period. There was a new thing every five minutes: “It’s so nice to see you.” “If you don’t come to davening tomorrow, I’ll throw you out!” “Mazel tov, mazel tov, who did you get engaged to?” It was all a big mix of fleeting thoughts, and my head was gone. I needed a change.

One day, someone told me that being a משגיח was not for me, and I should start a kollel instead. This sounded like a much better idea to me, as I would be able to devote myself to learning without all the distractions. I opened a kollel for serious, high-level learning. The first zman, we learned כתובות – the hard פרקים with the best סוגיות. But I found my head was gone. It was terrible – I was the Rosh Kollel, and I loved learning, but two hours into the seder, I was on shpilkes and I could not sit. After two and a half hours I would go out to get a drink of tea. After three hours, I could not focus on learning anymore, so I would ask my חברותא, “Perhaps you have a problem with שלום בית – do you need help?” Luckily, he did have a problem with שלום בית and I was able to help him! But it was a בושה וחרפה. Here I was, the Rosh Kollel, and I could not learn for more than two hours. 

I began to put myself under intense pressure. But it did not work because pressure does not work. Finally, in a flash of שכל, I asked myself: What was my motivation to learn? Why did I want to learn, and what motivated me during the first two hours, when I was able to learn? What was the quality in my נפש that made me love learning? For I really did love it! I came up with the answer, and once I discovered it, I was able to learn for four hours. 

I am almost embarrassed to share what I discovered about myself that motivates me to learn. I realized that I love questions, difficulties, and challenges. I love tearing apart a סוגיא. I love to find a difficulty and probe it. My personality is such that if I were to see a hole in a wall with a small tail sticking out, I would want to pull on that tail until the whole wall fell because there was a ferocious monster on the other side of the wall. Other people would tuck the tail into the hole and put plaster on it, so the problem is solved and the wall is smooth. But a smooth wall is not interesting to me. I like to tear down the wall! If you would ask me to write a summary of a סוגיא, I would sooner eat the pen! I could not do it. But what I could do is write questions. I would start with a strong question and then write that if you suggest a certain answer it raises the following question that is still difficult, and so on. That is what I can do. I relish something that makes no sense; that is a big question. I do not like to solve problems; I want to make the difficulty bigger.

The point is that my problem with learning for four hours was not because I did not appreciate the value of learning or anything like that. Therefore, the pressure that comes from focusing on the value of learning (or even from living up to the expectations of a Rosh Kollel) did not help me at all. Instead, my problem arose from my not understanding myself and what would motivate me to learn for four hours. Once I focused on myself, making myself central, in the context of my עבודת ה’, I was able to figure out how to do it. 

אמונה teaches us what is central

This delicate understanding of what is central is based on אמונה. We believe that theבורא עולם wants the person in his עבודת ה’‏. This does not mean He wants the person in terms of focusing on all his weaknesses such as his difficult relationship with his shvigger or his various psychological issues. It means that He wants the person, with his uniqueness, engaged in the pursuit of עבודת ה’. This אמונה gives us the license to work without pressure. In this way, we feel wanted, loved, and cherished by Hashem, and can work productively. אמונה teaches us to approach ראש השנה and יום כיפור from this perspective, as well. The central focus is not the קיום תורה ומצוות, but the person, as he works to fulfill them. Otherwise, it is too much, so overwhelming and we cannot do it!

This is an extremely important perspective, especially in America. The fact that everyone is under so much pressure is a problem for which we are paying a terrible price. We have an enormous amount of material – curricula, programs, incentives – to make תורה ומצוות more palatable. We also now have an enormous amount of knowledge of how to make a person central by understanding his psychological issues. There is so much more listening to people about their struggles than when I was growing up, and we are much more in tune with the תלמידים. But with this enormous amount of material to make תורה ומצוות more glorious and the enormous amount of understanding of the child, in between we have nothing. We do not know how to make the person central in עבודת ה’‏. But we do not have to be gaonim to figure it out. This is a reachable goal for a מחנך. This is the challenge that is placed in front of us. And it is all based on אמונה. This is what the בורא עולםwants and it is why he created us: because He wants our עבודת ה’‏.

Rabbi Reuven Leuchter, a prominent disciple of Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, zt”l, is one of the leading educators and baalei mussar of our generation. RabbLeuchter has served as Mashgiach in several yeshivos. Today, he heads a kollel and delivers shiurim and mussar vaadim throughout Israel and abroad. In addition, he trains future rabbis for rabbinic or kiruv careers with Ner LeElef.

• Print
• Email