Inspiring Motivation B’Chavrusa
July 18, 2022
The ADHD Whole-Class Approach
July 18, 2022
by Rabbi Shmuel Reich
Difficulty following directions
It was a fairly simple set of instructions. One may have expected the whole class to be able to follow them directly, without incident. When I looked over toward Daniel, though, I was not at all surprised. His facial expression – his eyes in particular – communicated exactly what I needed to know. This was the fact that he had no idea I had even given instructions. It was a small class, so I had an easy solution.
“Daniel,” I whispered to him from a couple of feet away, “We are taking out notebooks to write notes now.”
He responded with a thumbs-up. “Got it, Rebbi.”
My training as an ADHD life coach had prepared me perfectly for this scenario. Individuals with ADHD frequently don’t even realize that directions are being given to a group. This is frequently because they are so absorbed in whatever previous activity they were doing that they don’t even realize that directions are being given. Trained to expect this, and knowing that Daniel had ADHD, I looked over toward him to see if he had heard my directions. When it was evident that he did not, I was not at all disappointed in either him or myself. After all, this was simply to be expected. Incidentally, this lasted through an entire school year. He did not hear directions a single time. It didn’t matter.
Emotional dysregulation
I knew Eli was going to need more time to write than the rest of the class would. I allowed him to have it right away. Newly trained as an ADHD life coach, I was cautiously optimistic that I had the perfect solution for the situation. I was wrong.
I had put notes on the board that the class was supposed to copy down. I knew that Eli had ADHD, generally did not like writing, and was particularly not in the mood today. So when he asked me if he could wait a few minutes before starting to write, I, of course, said yes. A few minutes later I asked if he was ready yet. He said he was not. He still needed a few more minutes. After a few rounds of this, he finally told me that he was ready. He took out his notebook, picked up his pen, and was about to begin writing. Suddenly, he dropped his pen, picked up his notebook, and hurled it across the classroom. It landed squarely in a locker. It was a generally rowdy class, but even they were clearly taken aback. Eli himself looked up from his seat at me penitently, waiting for me to mete out some kind of disciplinary measure. None came.
“Nice shot,” I complimented his aim.
A look of great relief came to his face. His body visibly calmed.
Although my response doesn’t sound like very effective classroom management, there was an important reason why I did it. I had made a mistake, and realized it. I had pushed Eli too hard by asking him so many times if he was ready. He clearly rushed himself. He then became emotionally dysregulated, which is common for individuals with ADHD. His reaction may have been more extreme than a typical one, but it was nevertheless explainable. I therefore comfortably took the blame.
Better Expectations through Knowledge
The difference between becoming frustrated in these situations and maintaining my calm was one simple thing – knowledge. Knowing about behaviors that are related to ADHD – in addition to erratic attention and hyperactivity – enabled me to change my expectations. As a result of this I was ready when the behaviors happened, and not at all frustrated (though it is certainly a lot easier when the guys just learn without any curveballs).
A few years ago, following a presentation I had given, entitled “The Lesser Known Symptoms of ADHD,” the menahel of the yeshiva to which I was speaking approached me and said, “Thank you. I think after this we will all be able to have more rachmanus on our talmidim.” I didn’t tell him this, but perhaps he intuited it: I could not have asked for a more meaningful compliment. My goal had been exactly that – to equip rabbeim with expectations appropriate for talmidim with ADHD. At the very least, this would enable them to realize that certain behaviors that are disruptive to a classroom are neither their fault, nor the fault of the talmid. Although the behavior might not be tolerable in a classroom, it could be addressed with a healthier, more understanding approach.
Before a trip to a different yeshiva to give the aforementioned presentation, I asked my class at the time – a particularly jumpy group – if there is anything that they would like a group of rabbeim to hear about ADHD. One student responded by saying that he would like rabbeim to know that kids with ADHD simply can’t be held to the same standards as other kids. They are trying as hard as their counterparts – if not harder – but it is much more difficult for them. I relayed his message as an addendum to the talk, but in truth that was really my entire initially planned message.
Knowledge about the broad impact of ADHD and its wide range of symptoms is helpful to both students as well as rabbeim and teachers, which in turn helps their students. Students with ADHD very likely have a lengthy history of receiving blame and discipline for infractions that may not have been their fault, or may be their fault but much more difficult for them to abide by than other students. When authority figures realize this, the same disciplinary measure can be implemented, but in a more understanding way. The student will receive the same message, but in a way that is not hurtful to their self-esteem.
Difficulty with sitting for too long
Dovid had some measure of ability to sit in class. It was, however, quite limited. As soon as he reached capacity, he would begin to talk incessantly. Rabbeim and teachers tried to be patient with him – he was a really nice, good-natured kid – but it was simply too much disruption too frequently. He would be asked to leave multiple classrooms daily. Occasionally, he would need to be removed from a class permanently. Years of this experience had led Dovid to view himself as a poor student – one of “the dumb kids,” as he sadly referred to himself. Thankfully, one year Dovid had a rebbi who was well read on the subject of ADHD. Realizing Dovid’s challenges were a function of his ADHD, Dovid’s rebbi addressed them through precisely that lens. He realized that Dovid would need built in breaks to address his inability to sit in class for long. He discussed this plan with him out of class. He would watch Dovid’s body language to see if he was beginning to look restless. Once Dovid had already started talking, the clue existed even without a proactive check. The rebbi would then quietly approach Dovid, tell him that it looked like he had been sitting longer than is comfortable, and offer him to take a break. Although this plan had its kinks, it was a great upgrade for Dovid’s productivity and self-esteem.
Less Frustration through Knowledge
Education about ADHD can also help teachers and rabbeim check their own emotions. When a rebbi or teacher has to address difficult behavior of a student it can be very frustrating. Aside from the disruption of the lesson, they may wonder if their lesson had been planned poorly and was boring, or if their classroom management was subpar. Armed with the knowledge to understand behaviors impacted by ADHD, they can comfortably realize that a certain reaction of a student was for neither reason. Through a heightened understanding of ADHD, they may also learn ways to avoid triggering such reactions. The aforementioned story of my talmid, Eli, is a strong illustration of this.
Interrupting others
Michoel had a terrible propensity to call out in class. He was very bright, and had excellent questions, answers, and comments to add to a discussion, but in fourth grade a classroom needs more order than that. His rebbi, Rabbi Weiss, approached Mrs. Heller, the school guidance counselor for advice. Michoel had ADHD. Could that have had something to do with it? Was there a solution for this? Mrs. Heller explained that it in fact was related to ADHD. Individuals with ADHD frequently struggle with interrupting others in conversations. One of the reasons for this is that they are afraid – for good reason – of forgetting what they wanted to say. She recommended giving Michoel a small marker board on which he could write what he wanted to say and raise it for the rebbi to see it. Michoel was delighted. So was Rabbi Weiss.
Desperation to alleviate boredom
Aryeh was a very bright eleventh grader. The yeshiva had informed Rabbi Greenberg, the eleventh grade rebbi, that Aryeh had ADHD. Rabbi Greenberg did some research before the school year had started. He seated Aryeh close to the front of the classroom, far from some of his more chatty friends, and even further from the window that oversaw a busy intersection – a distracting nightmare for the ADHD brain. The strategies mostly worked. Aryeh enjoyed learning, and was very good at it. Rabbi Greenberg’s high level of energy and engaging teaching style were also positive contributors. There were, however, days that Aryeh seemed out of control. He would become restless, pace around the classroom, and partake in disruptive conversations with friends. Fate seemed to have it that these outbursts took place on days in which the class was already struggling to understand something difficult in the gemara.
Curious to understand why this was happening, Rabbi Greenberg had a conversation with a colleague in the yeshiva who, in addition to being a rebbi, was also a therapist specializing in the treatment of ADHD. A hypothesis emerged from their conversation. When the gemara was more difficult for other students to understand, Aryeh did not have this problem. He understood it well as soon as it had been explained. This meant that while Rabbi Greenberg was explaining the gemara again, Aryeh was bored. Individuals with ADHD tend to feel a specific and acute discomfort from boredom. ADHD Coach Jeff Copper describes this as feeling like one who is standing outdoors in freezing cold weather without a coat. There is a sense of desperation to alleviate the boredom.
Rabbi Greenberg was fascinated by the idea. Aryeh could not just sit and wait while Rabbi Greenberg was explaining the gemara again. He simply couldn’t do it. Rabbi Greenberg gently broached the subject to Aryeh, with whom he had had candid conversations about ADHD before. Aryeh agreed that this was a very likely explanation of his behavior. The next time a gemara of this difficult nature was to be discussed in class, Rabbi Greenberg allowed Aryeh to go to the beis medrash and learn with a chavrusah while he repeated the gemara for the other students. A little bit of understanding can go such a long way.
Knowledge, Resources, and Experts
There are a number of different excellent venues through which educators can learn more about the wide ranging symptoms of ADHD. The first step that I recommend is to read books to increase background and understanding. Three personal favorites are: ADHD Living Without Brakes by Dr. Martin L. Kutscher (very short but highly comprehensive), Driven to Distraction by Dr. Edward (Ned) Hallowell and Dr. John Ratey, and You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo.
The second step is to read resources that offer practical tips and strategies that can be implemented in the classroom. Dr. Russell Barkley – one of the most respected academics in the treatment of ADHD – has a number of free talks available online, and ADDitude Magazine and The Edge Foundation regularly send out free emails with short, user friendly articles.
The third step is to have someone with whom to discuss questions as they arise. This could be a school psychologist or therapist, or any professional who treats ADHD to whom one has access. There may even be occasions upon which a school may specifically hire a professional well versed in ADHD with whom to discuss questions.
Rabbi Shmuel Reich, AAPC, is a rebbi at Yeshivas Ohr Reuven in Suffern, NY, as well as an ADHD Life Coach in private practice. As a high school rebbi, he helps talmidim find their stride and enjoyment in learning and yiddishkeit based on their unique strengths and personalities. He studied life coaching at Refuah Institute, and then ADHD coaching at Impact Coaching Academy, as well as under Carol Gignoux through her program “Live ADHD Free.” He coaches individuals (preteen through adult,) parents, and couples as they navigate ADHD related challenges, such as chronic procrastination, poor time management, and impulsivity. Contact Rabbi Reich at rsreichadhdcoach@gmail.com.