From Tolerance to Celebration: Creating and Leading Schools that Embrace Differences
June 26, 2025
Embracing Diversity while Fostering Jewish Identity through Tanach Study
June 26, 2025
by Rabbi Isaac Entin
When hiring a new teacher, principals seek to determine whether a candidate is qualified to teach the content. After all, a good math teacher should know math well, and a Chumash teacher should likewise be an expert in Chumash. However, a smart person once quipped that math teachers don’t teach math; they teach students. This significant reorientation, putting the student at the center, ensures that educational efforts are effective and efficient, and that no harm is done to the student.
A car mechanic has two sets of wrenches because some manufacturers use metric bolts (measured in millimeters) while others use imperial bolts (measured in fractions of inches). Before he takes out his toolbox, he checks the make and year of the car so that the tools he uses for the job fit best. In education, students come in different varieties and styles; in fact, there are far more “makes” of students than car companies. What works for one student may not work for another. A Jewish educator must see the children for who they are, understand the imperative of flexibility, and work to ensure that every child shines, every day.
Seeing Children for Who They Are
It’s important to see the students in front of us for who they are. Children are not merely small adults, physically immature, but are also developmentally immature. Each year of their childhood, they undergo intense development, so that throughout the school years, they change from year to year. I’ve often noticed that a veteran teacher who has taught a specific grade level for many years can become an expert at understanding children at that stage of development (such as fourth-grade girls); what their capability should be, what motivates them, how to engage them and keep their interest, and how to help them navigate the common challenges that affect that demographic.
In our school, we’ve done a lot of work using the Yardsticks program to train teachers on these developmental levels. One important insight we’ve had is that children in the same class may not all be at the same developmental stage. For example, one of the fourth-grade girls may be acting like a third grader, leading to social conflict or isolation, while another might be at the developmental stage of a middle schooler, bored and frustrated by the lack of independence allowed by her teacher’s expectations. Because of this, we’ve encouraged our teachers to learn about the developmental levels below and above the grade level they teach.
We also fail to see students for who they are when we expect children to act like adults. Chinuch is training for and initiation into “real life”, with all its religious, social, and practical obligations and expectations. On the one hand, we know that they are just kids, but on the other hand, we want to make sure we teach them how to behave appropriately. Rav Shlomo Hoffman suggested telling a child, “Big kids don’t do this. With Hashem’s help, when you’re big, you won’t do this.” In this way, we’re setting the standard for mature comportment while showing the children that we understand they might not be ready to behave that way. We should integrate this mindset into our chinuch efforts and use this kind of language when we speak to children and talk about them.
Many people are familiar with a story about Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky, zt”l: He was visiting someone, and the host’s child climbed on the table. Rav Yaakov advised the parent not to discipline the child, assuring him that when his child grows up, he will no longer climb on tables. I’ve heard a similar idea in the name of Rav Aharon Schechter, zt”l: There is no need to discipline a child to get them to stop any behavior that they will be ashamed to do as an adult. Rabbi Paysach Krohn relates that when one of his children was young, he was about to rebuke him for not wearing his yarmulke, and began to say, “You’re such a…” Midsentence, he remembered this important idea and concluded, “…tzadik!”
Schools for All Jewish Children
When we see children for who they are, we realize that their strengths and interests vary widely. The school setting may be challenging for them if they are not great at academics. Perhaps in the short term, we can use the structure and discipline as well as positive reinforcement found in the school setting to get children to do what we want, but this creates pressure that builds and eventually needs to be released.
Some use the analogy of a garden hose to defend putting children under pressure, saying that more pressure means more water coming out of the hose’s nozzle. Not only is this untrue in the case of the hose, which is rated to withstand a certain amount of pressure but will burst if the pressure rises too high, but it is also a mistake when it comes to children in school. The hose analogy is helpful, but in the opposite way. When the pressure exceeds the ability of the hose to contain it, water will burst out anywhere along the hose and in any direction, and not through the nozzle where we directed it. When children are under too much pressure, instead of their energy being focused on learning, they will find other ways to release it, often in areas we wish they didn’t.
This is why it’s important to provide a variety of experiences in school or after school, including PE, art, music, coding, engineering, and sports, as well as mishmar or night seder. By allowing students to let off steam in whatever way works for them, they can approach the less exciting or more challenging parts of their day with more energy.
The Imperative of Flexibility
Discussions about diversity in education often focus on certain readily apparent kinds of diversity, such as Ashkenazim and Sefardim in the same school or a school with families who range from yeshivish to modern orthodox. The discussions may also address diverse learning styles and needs. However, diversity can be found even within a group of students who all look the same and come from the same background, just like it can be found among children from the same family. For example, different senses of humor can mean that some people will laugh at a particular joke while others may be offended. Diversity in personality can lead to some taking everyday adversity in stride while others lose their even keel when things go wrong. Some like one kind of music, others another, and some don’t like music at all. Some students are natural risk-takers, while others are more cautious.
This is Klal Yisrael. We’re familiar with the statement of Chazal: כשם שאין פרצופותיהן דומין זה לזה כך אין דעתן שוין זה לזה (במדבר רבה פרשה כא, also similar to ברכות נח:), which teaches us that, just as we expect people to look unique, we should assume that their opinions and ways of thinking are all different. Not only is it impractical for any school or mechanech to only work with one “type” of student, but it’s also an improper chinuch perspective.
After krias yam suf, the pasuk says (שמות יד: כז), “וישב הים לפנות בקר לאיתנו” – the sea returned at daybreak to its strength. The Baal HaTurim points out that the letters of the word לאיתנו also spell לתנאיו, meaning according to its condition or stipulation. He explains that when Hashem created the sea, although He gave it the nature to fill its banks with water, He stipulated that the sea would have to split for the Jewish people when the time came. We see here the idea that although Hashem creates us with specific natures or personalities that define our capabilities and interests, He demands that we be flexible when needed.
After creating the world and Man, Hashem tasked Adam with naming all the animals. The Chizkuni (Bereishis 2:19) explains that had Hashem named the animals and then taught Adam the names, it would have been more difficult for Adam to learn and remember the names. Here, we have the earliest model of learning, and we see that self-guided and interactive learning experiences are more effective than frontal lecture-style teaching.
Besides the implications in terms of teaching, the idea that the best learning is self-directed reinforces the need for educators to see the students for who they are. The way they will understand the lesson will be unique to them, based on their personality and life experiences. To the extent that our schools engender true learning, we must create space for diverse learners.
Rav Aharon Lichtenstein told a story about his own family to illustrate the importance of flexibility in chinuch. When he moved to Eretz Yisrael, he discussed with his family that now that they were far away from their previous teachers, they needed to choose a rav to guide the family. He told them that his choice was Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach. Later, when Rav Lichtenstein’s daughter was twelve years old, she wanted to get her ears pierced, like many of her friends. Rav Lichtenstein understood from the sugya of chovel b’atzmo that ear piercing would be halachically forbidden, and he told his daughter that. She was disappointed, since her friends were doing it. Then, she had a clever idea. She reminded her father that the family rav was Rav Shlomo Zalman and asked if they could speak with him about the matter. Rav Lichtenstein agreed. When they arrived at his home in Yerushalayim, Rav Shlomo Zalman graciously welcomed them, and Rav Lichtenstein’s daughter presented her question and related what her father had said. Rav Shlomo Zalman smiled and thought about it for a bit. Then he replied that although Rav Lichtenstein’s understanding of the sugya was accurate and reflected the ruling of some of the rishonim, for centuries, Jewish women had been piercing their ears, and it was a valid minhag of bnos Yisrael.
Once we recognize the diversity in every group of people, it becomes clear that applying the same rules and expectations to everyone is not ideal. Instead, “fairness” can be defined as giving everyone what they need. People tend to understand this on a personal level. For example, parents often recognize that one of their children needs something that the others don’t and find it within themselves to be flexible.
We should think about the school as a family and the students as our children. Policies we set for the school community and expectations we have of students are appropriate most of the time. But אין דעתן שוין זה לזה. To be fair is to be flexible when the situation calls for it, recognizing this diversity.
Every Child Shines Every Single Day
I learned a fundamental chinuch idea from Rav Shlomo Goldberg: Every child deserves a chance to shine every single day. The challenge is that we give children very limited ways to shine. In school, they shine through academics: knowing the answer when the teacher calls on them, doing well on the test, or following the classroom rules. At home, they also have limited ways to shine beyond doing what their parents tell them to do (e.g., “make your bed,” or “go to bed”). In addition to this being a very narrow view of children and their potential to shine, it effectively excludes from shining the many children who struggle with these specific areas, if, for example, they have an impulse or learning disorder.
Educators (and parents) have an opportunity to allow each child the chance to shine every day and also make their schools neater, safer, and happier by focusing on the middah of seder. It’s understood that we’re dealing with increased levels of anxiety in our children nowadays. Although anxiety is complex, at a basic level, it can be described as a feeling of uncertainty or lack of control. People who lack the middah of seder, who may always be a bit late, not sure where to go, or can’t find what they need, go through their day with uncertainty, leading to anxiety. On the other hand, those who develop the ability to organize themselves, their materials, and their time get an automatic boost of self-confidence that follows them throughout the day and supports them throughout their lives. Students feel empowered when they know where to be and when, prepared with the materials and supplies they need. Armed with seder, they don’t get so thrown off kilter when school or life throws the inevitable curveball.
Preschools teach seder and reinforce it well. The morahs set routines that the children learn to follow so they know where to be and what to do (e.g., when we sing Shema, we sit on the circular rug, holding hands, and when we’re done, we go to our seats at the table for snack), and these young children become masters of their day in school. Self-confidence is evident on their faces as they walk through the hall neatly in a row behind their teacher, coming back from the playground. Some become so confident that they can leave the line to give the principal a high five and get right back in their place before their teacher notices! (And when a preschool teacher does a poor job of setting routines, you see in the children’s eyes a sense of anxiety and self-doubt that wordlessly asks, “What should I be doing now?”)
As students get older and are expected (appropriately) to be more independent, some begin to lose confidence. The burdens of time management and personal organization overwhelm them, and they often give up on being organized. (Just look in their lockers!) Schools can support these students by finding ways to build the middah of seder in their students without taking away their independence. Teachers can scaffold seder by teaching it explicitly, for example, by teaching students how to use lockers, planners, watches, and other resources that help people stay organized and keep things neat. As students get older and the demands of independent management increase, teachers can teach them how to keep organized and model this behavior. When students are supported this way, their newfound independence becomes a source of strength. Independence equals mastery. They’ve learned to master their day and become masters of themselves.
In our school, we implemented a seder initiative for elementary and middle school classes that was quite effective. At a summer in-service for teachers, we discussed that in Japan schools don’t employ custodians and the students keep the school clean. Some teachers began to get scared about where this was going, but I reassured them that they weren’t going to be tasked with mopping floors. Instead, I gave them a challenge: Would they volunteer to join the Gold Star Alliance of classrooms where the students clean up their rooms at the end of the day?
As an incentive, Gold Star classes would get certain perks over the course of the school year. They would get a gold star on their classroom door, and the perks we offered were all low cost and relatively minor, such as being dismissed first from the lunchroom or special spices on pizza day. While the custodian would still be available when needed, most days the room wouldn’t need his attention. Many teachers agreed, and we launched the program.
Of course, we didn’t do this to save money! We’ve found that the Gold Star Alliance students feel great about themselves and their learning environment. Beyond the clean room, these students are empowered with a new sense of confidence and capability. Their classroom shines and they shine, too!
When the Alter of Kelm visited his son in yeshiva to check on his progress, he first stopped in his bedroom. When he saw that his son’s belongings were organized neatly, he declared that he didn’t need to check on how he was learning. When our students have seder, they are confident, capable, and ready for whatever challenges come their way. Teaching seder explicitly and building it into the school’s culture allows every child to shine, every day.
Control vs. Chinuch
There is one more critical chinuch idea that relates to diversity in schools. In his book, Spare the Child, Rabbi Yechiel Yaakovson makes a distinction between control and chinuch. It’s very tempting as a parent or teacher to try to control the situation or hyper-structure the environment so that the child always does the right thing or makes the proper choice. But he explains that chinuch is teaching the child to eventually make the right decisions on his own, when no one is exerting control over him.
A school that is like a tight maze, where everyone stays in line, with no opportunity to deviate or veer, may look impressive to a visitor, but the students in such a school may not be learning to make good decisions as adults. Instead, we should build schools that give students some space, where their inherent diversity will lead to all sorts of behaviors (some that we don’t appreciate), so students can learn to do what’s right. By recognizing the diversity among students, we understand that their path to “right” and even their definition of “right” may vary. For example, when our students grow up and choose a shul for their families, some will choose a shul with a lot of singing, others with a great kiddush, and still others with a rav who gives drashos with great depth. How do the rules and procedures in our school minyan or tefillah program prepare our students to daven as adults?
As educators, we teach students values and imperatives, but more significantly, we guide them through the process of incorporating those values into their lives so that these values can guide them for a lifetime, even as our control diminishes. By seeing the children for who they are, children, diverse in interest, personality, and preference, by supporting them to become independent masters of themselves, and by guiding them to eventually choose right, we can achieve the chinuch outcomes we hope for.
Rabbi Isaac Entin is the Head of School at Caskey Torah Academy in Philadelphia. Rabbi Entin holds a master’s degree in educational leadership and administration from Barry University, a certificate in school management and leadership from Harvard University, and smicha from HaRav Yochanan Zweig. He is a graduate of Harvard University’s Principals Institute and Bar Ilan University’s Principal’s Program. Rabbi Entin has served as principal in Norfolk and Phoenix, and over the past decade, he has led Caskey Torah Academy to flourish as a vibrant, nurturing environment for Torah learning and personal excellence, developing impactful programs that foster academic growth with a focus on building a complete mentsch.