The Collaborative Partnership in Parent/School Relationships
February 10, 2025Maayan Torah Day School, Portland, OR
March 5, 2025
Rabbi Shimshon Gewirtz, Editor
The parent-school relationship holds so much powerful promise for both parents and schools, yet it remains one of the ubiquitous challenges of chinuch. On the one hand, parents are commanded ושננתם לבניך, but almost universally, parents select a school to dispatch that duty. Parents know their children well and love them more than anyone else could, but teachers, rebbeim, and other school professionals have a deep and broad understanding of educational principles and techniques and, with experience and professional learning, become true experts in chinuch and child development. Parents have a laser focus on the welfare of their children, as those children deserve, while schools grasp the big picture, understanding the needs of the class and the community of talmidim, as well as the practical constraints of staffing and budget.
This is a gap worth bridging. Successful parent-school relationships don’t just reduce conflict; by preventing mixed messages and ensuring that parents and school don’t undermine each other’s values and efforts, they provide the basis for holistic chinuch that produces better academic and religious outcomes. Satisfied parents also become a base of support for the school in fundraising, recruitment of students and staff, and other areas of organizational development.
But it takes more than just good intentions to create and maintain these relationships. It takes more than the typical programs, such as Meet the Teacher events, parent-teacher conferences, or weekly newsletters. Like any organizational initiative, enhancing the parent-school relationship calls for erecting system-wide structures that can be self-sustaining and endure the test of time and turnover.
The articles in this edition approach this issue from several vantage points. Rabbi Baruch Noy writes that the rising cost of tuition in yeshivas and Jewish day schools has increased parents’ expectations for involvement and transparency regarding their children’s education and suggests this calls for a customer-service approach that schools can implement without adding staff. Dr. Chaim Botwinick, Ed.D., introduces the Epstein Framework that a school can use to facilitate meaningful collaboration and involvement with families. Mr. Jakir Sorscher delineates three areas of focus that transformed the parent-school relationship at his school and advocates for training and empowering teachers to be the liaison for this relationship.
Rabbi Avichai Pepper paints the picture of the mixed messages children get when their parents are not on the same page as their school, comparing it to a GPS that is constantly “redirecting,” and offers practical suggestions to engage parents to avoid this challenge. Mrs. Etti Siegel identifies root causes for ineffective communication and suggests solutions to build a constructive partnership focused on student success.
Rabbi Menachem Linzer shares the story of a school that realized this was an area that needed to be strengthened and how the school developed a comprehensive plan that is already showing promise for the future. Mrs. Penina Noy highlights the ways school leaders can engage parents in a personal and intimate way, such as with “coffee with the principal” events, opening two-way dialogue and understanding. Mrs. Rifka Gottlieb, Mrs. Nicole Rzonzew, and Mrs. Rowan Bigham describe their journey toward parent partnership that began by asking themselves difficult questions.
Mrs. Besie Katz points out that reliable information and data are the basis for the על פי דרכו conversation about a student. Mrs. Chana Wallach stresses the importance of positivity and proactivity in parent engagement and suggests parent programming to create trust and support student well-being.
In addition to the articles found within, we’re pleased to share ideas on this topic in a new format. Mrs. Miriam Gettinger and Dr. Eli Shapiro had an hour-long discussion highlighting the way some parent and school roles have become reversed in our time and offering pragmatic suggestions to ensure the parent-school relationship is healthy and strong. See their conversation here.
Rav Reuven Leuchter presented a series to mechanchim on behalf of the Consortium discussing the topic of teaching emunah. One of the ideas he emphasized is to align the focus of our chinuch efforts on the מתחנךand his or her עבודת ה’. We’re pleased to share these ideas in this edition of the journal.
As always, feedback is helpful and appreciated. Please email sgewirtz@cojds.org with questions, comments, and suggestions. We hope that you find this edition informative, thought-provoking, and enjoyable.